The Ugly Truth

I'm seriously getting sick and tired of myself for always blogging about what I've been doing or where I had gone to or which bloody movie I had watched lately. I don't know if you guys feel the same way too but honestly, I do! As much as I wanted to blog about something different in this post, my mind is saturated and littered with multiple random flashbacks. So now, I'm gonna condensed the thoughts and pour it out here. Perhaps you will see another side of me from this...?? Mean while, please bear with me for another mundane and lame plus dull post. Otherwise, just leave, for Christ's sake!

Out of the blue and totally unforeseen, I was suddenly overwhelmed by this nostalgic feeling, reminiscing about the past. Hence, I decided to pen it down. This god damned feeling had haunted me for reasons I wasn't pretty sure of. When things had become much more intense, I really feel like screaming my soul out "TO HELL WITH IT!" As time goes by, I've become a hypocrite without myself noticing it. Oh yes....hypocrite is such a bitchy word, isn't it? Here, let me enlighten you with some instances.

When I told you I'm fine, I was actually NOT FINE at all.

When I said it doesn't matter, my thought screamed of IT MATTERS.

I proclaimed arrogantly that I'm not scared, but deep down inside I was trembling with FEAR.

I might look strong and tough on the outside, but that's just an outer shell to shield the WEAK and FEEBLE me. I'm actually as FRAGILE as a glass.....

I told you I was rather full when you didn't feel like eating but I was STARVING myself half dead.

When you said the pair of jeans was cool, I nodded and agreed in one accord but actually I thought the jeans SUCKS!

Until then, I'm officially a biatch, am I not? But.....yea, but.....

When I told you those 3 magical words (I 'heart' you), I mean it though I might not be saying it day and night.

When I said I miss you, I really did.

When I said I care for you, nothing else matters to me.

When you were sick, you really worried the hell out of me.

When I wished for your eternal happiness, I never forget to include you in my prayers.

I still miss those special moments though I never cried my eff-ing eyes out.

*Knock knock* Died of boredom? Hang in there, just a bit more, alright. I'm in the process of ecdysis like that of a snake, you know, to get rid of my revolting hypocritical self and to embrace a brand new angelic me. Ok, that's nauseous, I know.

L.O.V.E......as good as it sounds, can be very wicked. It can make you laugh your heart out but at the same time, it can also make you cry and shatter your heart to million pieces. But all in all, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all (Samuel Butler).

Ring shot to end the post =)